.But to you things would never go back to the way they once used to be. Everything that we had has faded away and we are left with the memories. All my letters, notes, and gifts will mean nothing anymore. All my feelings and thoughts count for nothing anymore. So why hold back everything thats it is in me, I guess I’m free to say it all because it wouldn’t matter to you anyway.
I saw all the flaws in you but I ignored it because the good overweighed it. I knew all the lies you told but I ignored it because I knew it wasn’t as much as you told to the rest. I knew when you were keeping things from me but I let it be because I thought you were just protecting me. I let you get away with so much because I felt there was no need to argue about certain things. But when my feelings for you became stronger I grew tired of the lies and all the flaws that I knew you could change. I guess deep down in me I subconsciously thought that I could change you, I'm not really sure.
I unintentionally let down my guard; shared my thoughts with you even though I might have been rambling along the way. It takes a lot for me to express what I’m feeling. I’m used to just keeping everything to myself. But I held too much in and it hurts now. I don’t know why I expected more from you, but I just did. The mind plays tricks but the heart remains the same. As much as we argued in the past, I still felt the same way for you, because I knew things were temporary and eventually would go back to the way it used to be. I don’t know what it was that kept me holding on to whatever wasn’t even there but I guess you were my comfort zone.
I was always there for you even in the early hours of the morning answering every instant message or text. Always there even when I was sleeping, I would wake up when I heard the sound just to be there for you with whatever you needed or just to talk. Whenever you needed something I would go out of my way for you so you could never say I didn’t care because I did my part and beyond. I never disrespected you, I gave you the most respect behind closed and open doors, but you would occasionally slip up and I always forgave you because I didn’t want little things being the reason we distance ourselves for each other.
Yes, I ignored you once in a while and I admit it was childish but it was only to get through to you. To let you know that I didn’t have to be there dealing with you shit because I wasn’t obligated to do so. Honestly, I was down for you like the economy. But you couldn’t see that or you just took it for granted. So now this is what we are left with. Nothing but memories and thoughts of one another.
You said you’re not giving up but there is just no point. But like you said it doesn’t matter anymore because I said what I had to say and now I have to live with it...
No comments:
Post a Comment