I'll be gone for a minute.

I haven’t been on the ferry in forever or even rode a train. It felt good today coming home for the break. Lord knows that’s exactly what I needed from Plattsburgh. Being in that town for too long eventually turns me crazy. “This city made us crazy and we must get out” a line from one of my favorite Maroon 5 song’s. I did a lot of thinking and writing on the bus it felt like a whole new way of thinking. I questioned myself a lot on the ride but it was cool it just made me think even more. I decided that I am going to take a little break from blogging for awhile just to get my mind right- seems as if I have so much going on in there and I need to clear some mental space. I missed my mommy so much and we did a lot of catching us as we started some thanksgiving cooking. She always seems to know the right things to say even when I don’t tell her what is going on. There is a line that is stuck in my head and I am not sure from what song but it’s “We all make mistakes and sometimes we do desperate things.” I couldn’t agree more. I should have known that spring wouldn’t last too long in the fall now it’s starting to get bitter cold out- I have to put up my guard I mean put on my jacket. I know these winter days are going to feel longer now that…..well. Anyway Chris is almost as tall as me now with a deep voice he is growing into a man and I don’t know how I feel about that. November has been an interesting month; I gained and I lost. I learned to never say you are going to do something if you don’t have the emotional power to do so. I learned that you should always accept a situation for what it is and never think that it is in your power to change it & I also learned that people used to be irrelevant but all of a sudden you gave them some kind of relevance now and I let that f**k with my mind. Seems as if I signed up for a role that was too hard to play but I am the greatest actress that you’ll ever meet. I learned that love is still not shit and saying it won’t change things even if it is how you really feel. I learned that my words sometimes make things worse and for that I am taking a break from this whole behind my eyes thinking and blogging thing. And lastly I learned that I can’t put someone’s feeling before my own because they wouldn’t understand it the way I do; but I am careless to that because I would still do it because I care about certain things and people a lot. Even if my mind said you didn’t matter my heart would still make me chase after you. I'm done for now, so one for now.