The tables have turned :-)

So I must admit I was wrong. I thought I understood this situation and had full control of it. What I failed to understand was that God had control of it and he helped me through it. When things weren’t going my way I asked my cousin for advice and she told me to “be on my cool out shit”. She gave me this advice plenty of times before but I can’t say that I listened to her. I felt things were working as quickly as I needed them to so I decided to give it a little shove and this turned for the worst; leaving more confused then I originally was. So this time around I decided to wait and see what was at the end of the tunnel for me. I must admit that this was the best decision that I have made yet. There is something about the summer that makes people think that they could get whatever they are after. And I have truly realized that people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone and have moved on. Yes, I know it may sound a little cliché, but it’s the truth. I know there have been many instances in my life where I wanted something simply because I didn’t want anyone else to have it.

Like I have been saying I have been undergoing a lot of personal growth throughout the past years and I am so much more comfortable with whom I am as a person. I carry myself differently. I smile more. I appreciate everyday that God gives me because no one is promised tomorrow.

Over the last summer months, there have been certain individuals trying to get back what they once lost due to their own stupidity and egos. It’s been somewhat flattering but little strange because I don’t see them in that sense anymore. I’m human so I will always have feelings for them but not in the sense of wanting to go back into the past to make it my present. I have noticed that when your past becomes your present you only get hurt twice; so this left me with the question why now?

What was it that made you realize that I’m the one that you want to be with? Was it that your new relationships weren’t working out? Or was it that he simply saw how happy I was and how I was moving on?

Regardless of the reason there was a reason why we didn’t make it. Either we didn’t live up to each other expectation; we hurt one another or didn’t feel appreciated. I’m not saying that all goodbyes are permanent; but in this case I’m not turning back to allow you to have the satisfaction of getting whatever it is that they want.

"Back then they didn’t want me...now I’m hot, they all on me."