Perfect lyrics

Holla if you need me-Trey Songz

Holla
Whoa whoa whoa Oh
I know its been a minute since we really kicked it but I just want you to know
I can't pretend that everythings all good
Nope I can't say that everythings all bad
But im gonna say that you be on my mind
How you doin, who you with, where you be at
Girl, we’ve had our share of ups and downs
But you know that im gon’ always be around that’s for sure
And you know how we do, how I roll
And remember aint a damn thing change so
Holla if you need me
You always gon’ be my boo
Holla if you need me
You know I still got you
And if you ever need me to be
What you need girl, im free and forever you can holla at me
So, holla if you need me
You always gon’ be my boo
Holla if you need me
You know I still got you
If you ever need me to be
What you need girl im free and forever you can holla at me
I still be thinkin bout the things you do
I still be thinkin bout the times we had
Don’t wanna seem like ive be missin you
But I am and damn its bad girl
Girl, we’ve had our share of ups and downs
But you know that im gon’ always be around that’s for sure
And you know how I do, how I roll
And remember aint a damn thing change so
Holla if you need me
You always gon’ be my boo
Holla if you need me
You know I still got you
And if you ever need me to be
What you need girl, im free and forever you can holla at me
So, holla if you need me
You always gon’ be my boo
Holla if you need me
You know I still got you
If you ever need me to be
What you need girl im free and forever you can holla at me
Girl, you can holla at me
Whoa whoa
Girl I really really really wanna let you know
That I really really really cant let you go
And even if we never get it back girl you can still come and holla at me (x2)
Holla if you need me
You always gon’ be my boo
Holla if you need me
You know I still got you
And if you ever need me to be
What you need girl, im free and forever you can holla at me (x2)
Girl I really really really wanna let you know
That I really really really cant let you go
And even if we never get it back girl you can still come and holla at me

Happy Birthday MJJ

R.I.P Michael J. Jackson

Still awake so I shall write.

And so it's 2:46am && I'm still awake unable to sleep for whatever reason. Monday was the first day of classes it was okay....I guess. Didn't really see much people yet but for the people who I did see......HMMM! I have no feeling for this semester just yet because it's just the beginning but I guess the weekend will tell. I think it is just funny how summer comes you miss everything and everyone and then we are back to school and you just start to be reminded about the S#%T that bothers you...smh, but whatever! A lot of people have just been frustrating me already which is kind of sad, being that we haven't even been back a week yet.

On the other hand I have a single now, which is good because I could escape everyone whenever I want- though they do still try to come bother me....I just ignore the door[evil face]; but I do miss you as a roommate Rachel.....

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.......

I SEE SOMEONE CREEPING...HEADING SOUTH WEST OF CAMPUS.

But honestly, I just feel as if I wasn't prepared to come back. I didn't shop for school at all this summer. Smh at me for slacking on my addiction, but I will do some online shopping in the morning :-) .

Well I shall try to go to sleep for real this time.

Last day

…..and at the end of my last day

“Your face would be the reason I smile.”

There must be something about you because for the past 3 years
your always the last person I see on
my last day
<3

Random thought.

"And I know it kills you inside to know that I am happy with some other guy"

:-)

OVERDOSE

No one knows about OVERDOSE.
It’s a secret.

Honestly, I’m purely attracted to him && much more.

I convinced myself early on

that he was slightly unattainable

[but it was a challenge that I was willing to take]

everyone wants what they think they can’t have

…maybe it’s the forbidden fruit theory?

I don’t know.

If you were to ask me I would say that

I really don’t like him and at the moment

I don’t but just like any other drug..

You want to chase that high you achieved the first time,

which would require a

larger and stronger

dosage until you eventually run the risk of an

OVERDOSE.

Summer '09

And so I made it through another endless summer of semi-recklessness. But that time has come again where we come to an end and move on to the fall. June and July was cool but it was August that I was looking forward to.

I went to the place that I have been dreaming about for years.

St. Thomas, Virgin Islands

the most beautiful place that I have been to yet. I met a different kind of sunshine there. Nine days of traveling 3 beautiful island and the great waters. Meeting new people every step of the way.

Having a love hate relationship for Staten Island…urrrgh it seems to be the best and worst thing for me. Seeing faces that I left behind and people I haven’t seen for years. I worked at a place that I truly think was the WORST job that I ever had.

Chilled with my sisters unfortunately no more than two times but tried SUSHI for the first time...something I thought I would never eat.

Randomly saw some people in the weirdest places

Ended a couple of friendships/relationships that weren’t good for me. Seems like people only want what they can’t have.

I went to a couple of basketball tournaments <3

Saw the Boo more than a couple of times <3

Walked the streets of Brooklyn && shopped the stores of Manhattan.

Went to get cupcakes with the Headache

Found a new T.V. show [Weeds] addiction that was introduced by Sunshine.

I spent more time with myself and it allowed me to learn more about myself.

Changed back and forth with phones like 5 times.

Planned to attend picnics that never happened smh

Spoke to the blackman every day…..smh he made me check in because he thought I was getting crazy without him.

Was introduced to a new drink or two…..Apple martini and Hennessey Black <3

Went to plenty BBQ’s and…..well you know how that goes.

&& now it back to packing to go back and unpack && saying my see you laters.

Junior year……wow I’m closer to the end now!

Bittersweet moments.

&& So this is for her

My right hand, my wonder twin, my closest cousin, my diary, my rock, my backbone. We are connected in so many ways and this is why we understand each other better than any other person. She’s been there through the best and the worst. Seriously I don’t know what I would do or how life would be if she wasn’t there. She helps me every step of the way through it all. When things are not going according to plan I could always turn to her for some kind of support. Even from far away we are still so close. Though I’m the only girl from my mother and father she is definitely nothing shorter than a sister. And this is why I dedicate this blog to her.

Untitled IV

I kept you on a pedestal no matter how many times you let me down.

[what does that say about me]

SMH

I will let you know when Im ready

So there have be a countless amount to times that I was asked why aren’t I in a relationship. Well if you truly knew and understood me then you would know why. I have said it many times before that I am at a point of my life that I am growing and learning more about myself. I don’t want to put myself in a situation that I am not quite sure that I am ready for at this moment. Some may see it as avoidance of commitment but that’s not what I see it as. I guess you could say IM LIVING THAT LIFE right now. But, I will let you know when I’m ready.

“I can’t say I’m not the girl for you….but I just might be her yet.”

-Teyana Taylor “Complicated”

Happy Birthday Mr. President

"Something"

Falling too fast

Clearly rules dont apply

Cant believe that

I just met you

You got me here watching minutes pass by

Wondering when to expect you

There you go is this a dream

Looking like every picture that

Ive seen of you before

Ive seen it all before now that its over

Should have known better

Then to think this was real

And you could be mine

Should have known better

Slowed it down

Cause I feel you needed time

But I kept thinkin

This could be something 3x

This could be 2x

This could be something 3x

Maybe its just nothing at all

But this could be something

This could be something 2x

This could be 2x

This could be something 3x

Maybe its just nothing at all

At all 2x

Maybe its just nothing at all

At all 2x

I guess its what we make it 2x

DRAKE

The tables have turned :-)

So I must admit I was wrong. I thought I understood this situation and had full control of it. What I failed to understand was that God had control of it and he helped me through it. When things weren’t going my way I asked my cousin for advice and she told me to “be on my cool out shit”. She gave me this advice plenty of times before but I can’t say that I listened to her. I felt things were working as quickly as I needed them to so I decided to give it a little shove and this turned for the worst; leaving more confused then I originally was. So this time around I decided to wait and see what was at the end of the tunnel for me. I must admit that this was the best decision that I have made yet. There is something about the summer that makes people think that they could get whatever they are after. And I have truly realized that people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone and have moved on. Yes, I know it may sound a little cliché, but it’s the truth. I know there have been many instances in my life where I wanted something simply because I didn’t want anyone else to have it.

Like I have been saying I have been undergoing a lot of personal growth throughout the past years and I am so much more comfortable with whom I am as a person. I carry myself differently. I smile more. I appreciate everyday that God gives me because no one is promised tomorrow.

Over the last summer months, there have been certain individuals trying to get back what they once lost due to their own stupidity and egos. It’s been somewhat flattering but little strange because I don’t see them in that sense anymore. I’m human so I will always have feelings for them but not in the sense of wanting to go back into the past to make it my present. I have noticed that when your past becomes your present you only get hurt twice; so this left me with the question why now?

What was it that made you realize that I’m the one that you want to be with? Was it that your new relationships weren’t working out? Or was it that he simply saw how happy I was and how I was moving on?

Regardless of the reason there was a reason why we didn’t make it. Either we didn’t live up to each other expectation; we hurt one another or didn’t feel appreciated. I’m not saying that all goodbyes are permanent; but in this case I’m not turning back to allow you to have the satisfaction of getting whatever it is that they want.

"Back then they didn’t want me...now I’m hot, they all on me."

an understanding of myself

Those who know me know that I am a very conservative person when it comes to my feelings towards another person. I keep everything hidden and undercover so that when worst comes to worst I would be able to hide how much I am hurting. But I realized with all this growing that I am doing and me trying to move on with everything that may have happened in the past it is time for me to let everything go. I have come to a point in my life where I realize that I should be happy because I deserve it. I shouldn't’t still be hurting from the things that have occurred in the past. I learned to let go and move on, I learned to be a better person-a better woman. I see myself much happier these days because I have learned to understand myself-I was so good at hiding my feelings that I realized that I was hiding them from myself as well. With that being said its time to close that chapter and that book and say my farewells.

Growth

Okay so its 3:40am and I am still awake listening to music and writing. There is just something about the nighttime that allows me to express exactly what it is that I am feeling. So much has been going on and honestly I am surprised at the way that I have been dealing with it. I have been very calm and able to keep my composure. Lately, I have been noticing my growth. Physically, emotionally and mentally. I am evolving into a woman. The little things that used to bother me I am an now able to ignore and realize that it doesn’t take much to walk away. I have learned to look at things in a mature perspective. I learned to think before I act and speak. I am becoming a better me for myself and the world to enjoy and I have full control of it. I guess it the whole leaving my teen years behind that has me thinking like this….but I like it. Even the growth of my mind is astounding to others and I must admit that college had a lot to do with it. The inside of the classroom aspect is not the only thing that I am speaking of but also the social life. I believed that I learned more about life outside of the classroom than inside. I have learned things that I wouldn’t have be able to learn elsewhere. I am truly thankful for the many things that I have learned throughout the years and the growth of my mind. I just wish the rest of the world was growing with me.

Still Closer than ever

Love && I

So they say when I fall in love it will hit me hard.

They say I’m the toughest girl they ever knew who fought love.

Love didn’t know how to treat me and

we didn’t get along so I couldn’t stay.

I move out and left town.

Love said they would never hurt me and that was a lie,

love said they will always be around through the good and bad,

that was another lie.

We just weren’t connected the way we used to be when we first met.

Love cheated on me

another thing they said they would never do-

it tired it’s hardest to break me down and it almost won

but I had to fight back.

Words of a Great Poet

The human heart is so delicate and sensitive that it always needs some tangible encouragement to prevent it from faltering in its labor. The human heart is so robust , so tough, that once encouraged it beats it rhythm with a loud unswerving insistency. One thing that encourages the heart is music . Throughout the ages we have created songs to grow on and to live by. We Americans have created music to embolden the hearts and inspire the spirits of people all over the world.

-From Letter to My Daughter

MJJ

Because you touched so many lives we must celebrate you instead of being saddened by what has occurred. I hope that you have peace where you are now.

Little things

It’s the little things that she cherishes the most.

Watching the sunset and sunrise with you.

Getting a "good morning" text every morning which puts a smile on her face.

It’s the little things that she admires the most.

The fact that she could tell you hundreds of things and

you remember everything that she says.

You’re simply just a sweetheart.

It’s the little things that she loves the most.

The little things like you knowing when she needs a hug.

Or how you would randomly plant a kiss on her forehead.

It’s just the little things that make you captivate her heart.

She is writing this while he is asleep on her shoulder.

<3

A family like no other

Through all the tears.....laughter...jokes...trips...pictures...videos...and of course drinks....

We continue to stand strong as a family through it all. Its the little things in life that we take for granted-family being one of them.

Though we had some bad times...the good times overshadow them, and through it all I will always love my family.

Because

We are the perfect mix with a little twist.