My last June blog

So I’m leaving in the morning to go on the vacation that I have been looking forward to for months now. I’m finally done counting down the months, weeks and day and now I am up to hours. This will be my last blog for June 2009. I will be visiting three different islands with about thirty family members. Today we were all together after Chris’ graduation all thinking about the cruise and how much we can’t wait. Summer 2009 didn’t really kick off the way I intended it to; I guess I just expected too much and unfortunately I was let down-but hopefully this vacation with be the start of something worth loving.

So many ideas flowing through my mind but I still don’t know what to write about. As Edmund would say this is my spot where I could normally get soft; but I guess I’m beginning to become a little more resistant because there are too many eye catchers here. So much has been going on lately and I just it seems like I have no more pages in my diary. So much to update you on especially with all these little side notes but I guess I will keep it to myself until I glue so more pages back in my diary.

Things just don’t see right anymore. When you get too used to something it is hard when it is removed from you. I wish it was so easy to put aside my emotions aside- but it seems like that would never be.

But like I said I will be leaving in the morning- so see you sooner than later.

Untitled III

Relationships could be a strange as the weather

So much meaning in simple lyrics

Like a star-by:Corrine Bailey Rae

Just like a star across my sky

Just like an angel off the page

You have appeared to my life

Feel like I'll never be the same

Just like a song in my heart

Just like oil on my hands

Oh, I do love you

Still I wonder why it is

I don't argue like this

With anyone but you

We do it all the time

Blowing out my mind

You've got this look I can't describe

You make me feel like I'm alive

When everything else is a fade

Without a doubt you're on my side

Heaven has been away too long

Can't find the words to write this song

Oh, your love

Still I wonder why it is

I don't argue like this

With anyone but you

We do it all the time

Blowing out my mind

I have come to understand

The way it is, it's not a secret anymore

'Cause we've been through that before

From tonight I know that you're the only one

I've been confused and in the dark, now I understand

I wonder why it is

I don't argue like this

With anyone but you

I wonder why it is

I won't let my guard down

For anyone but you

We do it all the time

Blowing out my mind

Just like a star across my sky

Just like an angel off the page

You have appeared to my life

Feel like I'll never be the same

Just like a song in my heart

Just like oil on my hands

Excerpt

I can't even find the perfect brush,
So I can paint
whats going through my mind,
Racing against myself,
but
I'm a couple steps behind.
-Drake

I know more than you think.

Reminded what the struggle was for when I see my parents and I hear them speak in dialect. The struggle of leaving their parents and families behind to come to America to better themselves. The experiences that they went through, my roots, my culture, and my love for it.

The green representing the land and abundance of its natural wealth. The white representing peace and unity.

By birth I am an American child; but by blood I am a Nigerian child. I do admit I might not know everything about Nigeria but my mind is still growing with facts and history about it. Though I don't know how to speak the language fluently I do comprehend it. Though I only been there a few times, I went to many places that others have never been.

Some believe that Nigerian children born in American will tend to lose their culture and history; but I believe that once these things and instilled in the child then that would not be the case.

Some refuse to call me Nigerian because of my American name and because of my lack of ability to speak the language fluently but I pay them no mind; they don't know me and they don't know what I know.

I do know that Nigeria is my motherland, Nigeria is my fatherland

Nigeria is the beauty and pride of Africa

Nigeria is the land of oil, cocoa, gold and silver

Nigeria is the land of rain, sunshine, rivers and mountains

Nigeria is the land of beautiful cultures and traditions.

My father from Delta state and and speaks both Abu and Yoruba

My mother from Abekuta and speaks Yoruba

It gives me the chance to learn double the history and culture about Nigeria.

When I see my flag I don't need you to remind me about my history or my culture, or the way both my mother and father struggled to get where they are because I already know. I am reminded everyday by their presence, their actions, their dialect, their love for their country and most of all their love for my brothers and I.

The beauty of words

The order in which we put words together to make sense amazes me.
The arrangement of each letter with different pronunciations is astounding.
The collection of each letter in the alphabet being able to
make a word- to make a sentence-to make a paragraph- to make an essay –to write a book is truly astounding. The ability to speak these words and put them into writing is beautiful.
A way of common communication and understanding,
the ability to transform feelings and thoughts into writing,
the ability to allow others to know things without saying a word,
the ability to express yourself with not just ordinary words but words of emotions-turns into art.
Words help us say things that we can’t not say verbally.
They help us to elucidate how we are feeling emotionally.
Words help us to understand ourselves more and helps others to understand us.
The value of each word put together to form a sentence shows us the true beauty within us the art that we are able to paint with the words in our minds.

I never actually liked writing because I felt as if I had nothing to write about, but then I realized that the things that your write that come from your heart could never truly be judged because it is your own piece of art; it is what you are feeling and how you view things. Now I just find myself writing just to write; I am relentlessly thinking of things to write.

Untitled II

Corrine Bailey Rae playing off of the iTunes
While looking out my room window at the Bayonne Bridge
Another endless night of many things racing through my head
A night like this calls for the words and ideas in my head to be spit out
And put into a blog for all of my eye catchers.
I begin to think about what I would like to share today and nothing really comes to mind
So I will do some free writing

This is my third week being home from school and here is an update
I roamed the streets of Manhattan for a week straight as the sun followed me
I visited Brooklyn numerous times as the stars looked down at me,
I sat in the park on 47^th and 2^nd ave during lunch time and watched the
Corporate workers and co-workers with their business attire on
And talk about important stuff.
I went to my mother’s job and listened to her co-workers
Talk about how much I’m growing up and ask me
Trillions of questions about school.
I went on the Staten Island Ferry seeing faces that I know
Many of them with younger faces calling them mommy or daddy.
I have been away for two years and I see such a big change.
I walked past my old high school shaking my head at
All of the foolishness that I saw going on.
I went to the mall shopping and saw people I went to
Junior high and high school with shopping for their kids.
Times like this make me happy that I actually went away for school
I don’t think I would be able to deal with this on a day to day basis.
Just another endless night that allows to
me to think about all of this.
I went shopping with RH and saw an alien
I went to a BBQ on Memorial Day and Bertha “got crazy” with the food.
Edmund and Byron came out to Staten Island
Okay I’m ready to go back to school.

---Being out here I have a lack of inspiration to write.

Choux pastry heart by Corrine Bailey Rae

I was just waiting for your phone call
When they came along to say
That a rose done chased you clear away

You had said I was gamine
But we didn't mean the same thing i think
Broke my choux pastry heart
Guess life's, no picture post card

One for sorrow
Two for joy

Sometimes you win or sometimes you lose
I don't wanna lose you Don't even own you
I just wanna stay right here
Until never dawns yeah


I was just waiting for your answer--Still
You made your own apologies
I cried so much I had to leave

Three for a girl
Four for a boy

Sometimes you win or sometimes you lose
I don't wanna lose you
Don't even own you
I just wanna stay right here
Until never dawns yeah