because things kept fall apart.

Building my thoughts for them to finally come together to make sense; but it would eventually fall back down by some sort of distraction. A lot had fell apart over the last couple of months- whether it be friendships or relationships…nothing was pretty much the same anymore. A drastic change in some people and the more I tried to ignore the changes the more I saw myself distancing myself from it all. In the beginning I tried to defend the actions of them but then I began to see that it was something I didn’t even understand to defend. So an ear I became without uttering any words because the advice given wouldn’t be taken. Cool is something we will always remain but to be looked at the same way is something I don’t see happening.

that took me months to build

I am my biggest distraction. My mind could wonder for long periods of time without me even noticing. Sometimes I feel that it is difficult to tell the difference between reality and fantasy. I guess you can say “My heart is in two different places”

to my masterpiece

It starts and ends with you. “Things have been so crazy and hectic”, didn’t really know how to be certain with the way I was feeling because emotions change time after time. I guess you can say I always knew a decision needed to be made; and I knew that I would be the one to do so- but it was something that I prolonged- until I realized that there would be causalities- ME being the main one. I chose to wait for a time that my choice would be made from acceptance and not anger or frustration. You know that I care so very deeply about you; and I know for me you feel the same. It’s hard for me to let these letters gather together to say what you are about to read. So I will hold out a little longer because I feel things changing again, just know that "I'll always love ya; and I hope you feel the same".

The introduction

My thoughts are rambling all over. I hope everything that needs to be said is understood without difficulty. I guess you could say I haven’t been completely honest these last few months as to the way I felt about certain things or people. I guess the way to explain it is “the feeling ain't the same because people ain't the same”. I kept most of what was felt to myself because I needed to be certain that it wasn't me who was doing the changing; so I took a step back and observed..............

3:45am